Didn’t Expect


“A talking pig?! I never heard of such a thing!” -my toddlers, fact-checking the Olivia books.

Leaving My Three Year Old’s Room At The End of the Night

by Carrie Friedman   Me: Okay, I love you. I’ll see you in the morning. Her: Wait – Mommy. Are there any maps in my room? Me: Maps? No. Her: Are there any bees? Me: No. No bees. Her: We […]

(Definitely) Didn’t Expect: Momnesia

by Carrie Friedman We met a friend’s newborn for the first time last night. The minute I spotted their baby girl’s tiny toes peeking out of her bunting as she was draped across her dad’s shoulder, I was done. I […]

Toddler Talk, volume 2

A conversation with my three year old today: Her: We don’t say ‘Oh Shit.’ Me: That’s right, we don’t. Her: Kids don’t say Oh Shit and grown ups don’t say Oh Shit either. Me: That’s correct. No one should say […]

Diaper Surprise

This is a real ad, for an actual product, that my kids and I have seen advertised on TV. Watch and learn:

My Two Year Olds, The Teenagers

By Carrie Friedman For the next couple of months, I have two two-year-olds. Two kids going through the terrible two’s, simultaneously: Our youngest turned two the other day, and just like that, she changed. It was subtle, but real. As she […]

Top Ten Reasons We Won’t Be Having Sex Tonight


Blatant Gender B.S., continued

Blatant Gender B.S., continued

As my faithful readers know, I have a real issue with gender pigeon-holing. A few weeks ago, I took my toddler daughters to the museum. They had a blast, running from exhibit to exhibit, peering up at their favorite animals […]

The New Pressure Of Date Night

by Carrie Friedman A weekend is rapidly approaching. I vaguely recall when weekends used to be good things, fabulous mini-vacations after what felt like strenuous work-weeks. I was in my 20’s, I thought the work was hard but realize, years […]

Toddler Talk

A conversation with my two-and-a-half year old last night: Her: Sometimes, you can be going along and all of a sudden you just feel sad! Me: Like when? What makes you feel sad? Her: I don’t like to share with […]

Preschool Applications

With preschool fast-approaching for my oldest child (gulp!), I am reminded of the surprisingly grueling application process from a year or two ago (when said-oldest was a mere infant). It’s a bit of a frenzy where we live, but, happily, […]

A Mother Creates Her Son’s Dreamworld…and it creeps me out

A Mother Creates Her Son’s Dreamworld…and it creeps me out

It went viral a few months ago – the link is here: a mother’s artistic photos of her son’s “dreamworld”, all taken while he naps. On the floor, it seems. There are many reasons this bothers me. Let me count the […]

Read it and weep:

Brain, Child Magazine

My New Look

I look great for a woman in her 50’s. I’m 37. From toting my babies, I now seem to have the arms of a heroin addict, minus the track-marks: all bony and ropy and veiny. Madonna’s arms, only slightly less […]

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Look, I consider myself an avid reader, or I used to be, before I had kids. I was an English major in college, I have piles of books I intend to read on most surfaces in my house, and on […]

changing the classics

by Carrie Friedman I sang Jimmie Davis’s You Are My Sunshine to our unborn children in the womb and while listening to the words coming out of my mouth, I was a little perturbed.  Sure, the tune is singsongy, you […]

Spelling it out

Since both my children have reached the highly verbal “parrot” age, I’ve had to really watch my mouth. I used to swear quite a bit, before I had kids. Now, I still swear, only I spell it out. Sure, it’s […]

Tragically Unhip

by Carrie Friedman Last night, as I dished out dinner onto my kids’ high chair trays (AKA the only time of day when they are immobile while still being awake), I turned on a little music and danced. When it […]

Blatant Gender B.S.

Blatant Gender B.S.

by Carrie Friedman I walked into a toy store the other day and was greeted by an attentive, gum smackin’ saleswoman who asked what I was looking for. I told her: “Big Legos.” She asked ages and genders of my […]

Things I Said Today (Petting Zoo Edition)

Things I Said Today (Petting Zoo Edition)

  Do you think sheep count sheep when they’re falling asleep? Let’s not touch where the pig just went potty. Remember what the zookeeper said about not hitting the goat? Other Things I’ve Said: Things I’ve Already Said Today and […]