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Things I Have Said and Meant in the Moment But Later Regretted

-To my husband: “If you sneeze one more time I’m gonna need you to leave the house. Or take some allergy meds. You could wake the kids.”

-To my brother, who called me once at 7:15pm: “How dare you call me this late?! You know the kids go down at 7.”

-Out the window, to my next door neighbor after he set off fireworks in his backyard: “I will FUCKING CUT YOU.”

What are yours?

39 Responses

  1. Gladys Samayoa

    To the neighbors annoying barking dog- ” I will chop you up and make tacos out of you!”

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