-To my husband: “If you sneeze one more time I’m gonna need you to leave the house. Or take some allergy meds. You could wake the kids.”
-To my brother, who called me once at 7:15pm: “How dare you call me this late?! You know the kids go down at 7.”
-Out the window, to my next door neighbor after he set off fireworks in his backyard: “I will FUCKING CUT YOU.”
What are yours?