What I said during my toddler’s 4th tantrum of the day:
I know, sweetie, you’re so frustrated because you want to hold Zebra RIGHT NOW, but sister is having her turn with Zebra. How about this, let’s count to 20 and maybe then sister will be done and you can have your turn? Sound good?
What I felt like saying:
I’m gonna need you to cut the bullshit. It’s called sharing – look into it, for fuck’s sake. Now let me teach you how to make mama a strong bloody mary.